Because no one on our staff wanted their picture taken, I compromised by leaving the stock photos exactly as they were in the template. When I ran out of those stock pics, I just did a Google search for “stock employee images” and used those. I don’t know why everyone is so insecure around here.
OWNER
Michael Mayer
MANAGER
Hannah
Hannah has a dog named Onyx that I DO NOT like one bit. She’s also obsessive about the leash board being organized and even got a tattoo of a banana because we call her “Banana” all the time.
MANAGER
Shane
Shane spent time in Americorps, actually graduated from college and has a cat named Dog who she sometimes pushes around in a stroller like a demented old lady. I've seen pictures. It is.....concerning.
DOG WRANGLER
Ashley
Ashley REFUSES to watch “Making a Murderer”, even though I know she’d really enjoy it. Ashley has worked here long enough to tune me out when I start talking about what she should be watching. This is probably pretty wise.
Dog Wrangler
Lyra
Lyra is from Beaumont which, no offense to anyone from Beaumont, seems like a fairly terrible place. I have confirmation from Lyra that it is, in fact, a fairly terrible place. Let's all not go to Beaumont.
DOG WRANGLER
Kenneth
Kenneth is VERY quiet. Not, like, "dangerous" quiet, more "peaceful" quiet. I'm a big fan of 30 Rock and want to call him Kenneth Ellen Parcell but I know he won't get the joke.
DOG WRANGLER
Jessica
Jessica comes to us from the (human) daycare world and I'm convinced that, aside from not being able to crate children, the differences between the two are negligible. Dogs might have a slight edge, actually.
Dog Wrangler
Hunter
Hunter, like Kenneth is very quiet. I, unlike both of them, have an incredibly difficult time keeping my mouth shut. I know so little about Hunter that I have to make her bio about me. That's how quiet she is.
Dog Wrangler
Sam
Sam knows every dog's name, even if she's met them once, three years ago for two minutes. Don't remember where you put that Sharpie down yesterday? Sam's got you! Did you forget what the FedEx guy mumbled on his way out of the lobby last month? Sam knows!