Because no one on our staff wanted their picture taken, I compromised by leaving the stock photos exactly as they were in the template. When I ran out of those stock pics, I just did a Google search for “stock employee images” and used those. I don’t know why everyone is so insecure around here.

OWNER
Michael Mayer

MANAGER
Hannah
Hannah has a dog named Onyx that I DO NOT like one bit. She’s also obsessive about the leash board being organized and even got a tattoo of a banana because we call her “Banana” all the time.

WEEKEND MANAGER
Nena
Nena also works at a high-end restaurant in Austin and shares stories about people who tip 5% on $400 tickets. Don't be one of those people. She also plays softball, reads a lot and, get this, her car's air bag sensor is messed up and it's been beeping for THREE YEARS. "Three years?", you might be saying to yourself. Yes. Three years. As in, for three years every time she turns her car on it beeps and DOESN'T STOP BEEPING until she turns her car off. Driving down the highway? Beeping. On your way to the grocery store? Beeping. Constant. Beeping. Everywhere. You. Go. She says that she doesn't even hear it anymore. She's acquired some kind of pointless super power to tune out her cars air bag warning beep. Fascinating and horrifying.

DOG WRANGLER
Ashley
This is the second time I’ve had to write a profile for Ashley where I mention that she REFUSES to watch “Making a Murderer”, even though I know she’d really enjoy it.

Dog Wrangler
Samantha
Samantha brought me cookies at Christmas which is a HUGE check in the plus column. Also, my dog Pablo is borderline terrible when he's here but she's always really nice to him and I appreciate that.

Dog Wrangler
Shane
Shane comes to us from sunny California. She spent time in Americorps, actually graduated from college and is one of the friendliest people I've ever met. She made everyone personalized Christmas ornaments. Unprompted, she bought me a box of Hot Tamales (the candy, not the food). She does embroidery. She's like a magical, crafty little elf. She's fitting in great here.

DOG WRANGLER
Lyra
Lyra is quiet which is a trait I fully respect. She's also from Beaumont which ( no offense to anyone from Beaumont) seems like a fairly terrible place. I have confirmation from Lyra that it is, in fact, a fairly terrible place. Let's all not go to Beaumont.

Dog Wrangler
Maddie
I happen to be updating the employee section of the website and we just hired Maddie, like, yesterday. She seems very nice. Stay tuned....