Because no one on our staff wanted their picture taken, I compromised by leaving the stock photos exactly as they were in the template. When I ran out of those stock pics, I just did a Google search for “stock employee images” and used those. I don’t know why everyone is so insecure around here.
OWNER
Michael Mayer
MANAGER
Hannah
Hannah has a dog named Onyx that I DO NOT like one bit. She’s also obsessive about the leash board being organized and even got a tattoo of a banana because we call her “Banana” all the time.
WEEKEND MANAGER
Nena
Nena is pretty new and may be too nice to work here. The jury is out until she insults me to my face, laughs and walks away. Only then will we know if she's truly fit for this job.
DOG WRANGLER
Ashley
This is the second time I’ve had to write a profile for Ashley where I mention that she REFUSES to watch “Making a Murderer”, even though I know she’d really enjoy it.
Dog Wrangler
Samantha
Samantha brought me cookies at Christmas which is a HUGE check in the plus column. Also, my dog Pablo is borderline terrible when he's here but she's always really nice to him and I appreciate that.
Dog Wrangler
Ashlynn
Ashlynn was wearing a Smashing Pumpkins shirt one day and I told her that Gish & Siamese Dream were my favorite SP records and that they pretty much lost me after that. I then told her that I actually STOOD IN LINE at a RECORD STORE to buy Melon Collie (super-disappointing SP double-album) the day it came out. She looked at me with nothing but pity and it was unsettling. I don't know why everyone's bio ends up being about me but that level of self-involvement is, quite frankly, troubling.